Rann:  Let’s face it, the Transformers sequel probably already counts as a “critical bomb”, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean considering that it made back its budget in its opening week. The given reasons are wide, varied, and often complete opposites of each other. So why, exactly, is everyone who thinks their opinion important because it appears in print seemingly enraged by this movie? Mister Ebert, who has an average of being right about one in ten times in my personal opinion, considered his hatred of this movie important enough to dedicate two articles to saying how much it sucked because he said so. Why?

Well, I think there are a lot of reasons. Politics figures into it a little, but I’ll just mention that I think it does and not go into it. Popularity is another. The review press has its own popularity trends it follows, as much if not more than the Hollywood movies it reviews. It’s always been popular to hate sequels… a sequel has to be a magnum opus of near-unprecedented heights to get reviewers to even admit that it might be as good as the first. It’s also fairly popular to hate Michael Bay, as he’s joined the ranks of a select few Hollywood personalities that, far beyond their actual flaws as actors and filmmakers (or people), are simply chic to savage in the press. The general worthlessness of “professional critics” in general.

But these cannot detract from the fact that this is an awesome movie. And I don’t even mean that in a “lay back and turn off your brain, munch some popcorn, watch explosions” way. I mean that it’s an awesome movie in the same way that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a great actor.

See, that’s the thing. If you’re not so set on going “Hurf durf, his accent is funnee!!” and it’s a role where he’s actually allowed to emote, Schwarzenegger has far better acting chops than a lot of those the review press would like to canonize. He can emote with sincerity and believability, he has a range of expressions that make other guys look like they’re the emotionless killing machines from the future, and in general he’s just pretty damned good.

Transformers 2 is the same way. If you’re not sitting there thinking “Hurf durf, when’s the next explosion?!”, it’s actually a really good movie. It’s not perfect, as if making a movie with an annoying scene or two were a sin, but it’s pretty damn good. And in their own way, even the annoying, gratuitous scenes have their place in building up the larger picture.

Most people probably know the general gist of the story by now. Sam is heading off to college, but is dragged back into the war between Autobots and Decepticons, which is heating up again right here on Earth. Megatron is back, and he’s pissed off. I don’t want to spoil too much, but there will be spoilers in here, as I go through and hit on a few things I find notable.

The early scenes with Sam’s parents are annoying as hell. They’re reminiscent of a lot of the scenes with the two of them in the first movie, Michael Bay’s idea of a comedy couple really. They seem to make the early bits of the movie where the robots aren’t fighting a bit of a drag. During the scene where Sam’s mom gets whacked out on magic brownies and goes running around like a psycho, I rolled my eyes and wished we could get past this particular Bay-ism as soon as possible. The thing is, these early scenes of ridiculousness with Sam’s parents come back to your mind later on, when the two are actually called upon to emote, to be real people for the first time since they’ve appeared in these movies, really. For me, it made them much more empathetic than they otherwise would have been. I’ve seen my parents be like that, goofy, argue over stupid stuff, do ridiculously silly and embarrassing things. And I’ve seen them at their intense moments, facing the really bad stuff life can throw at you. All of a sudden Sam’s parents were my parents, and I really think that’s what Bay was trying for. He was hoping to hit that spot in everyone that has seen their parents be annoying as hell, but somewhere knows that if they were hurt and bleeding in the sand in some godforsaken pit on the other side of world, their parents would demand to be right there beside them.

The scene where Optimus takes on the elite of the Decepticon forces and can’t quite stand up to them all gave me a rush and tingles in a way that even their original to-the-end battle in the original animated movie didn’t. It’s a different kind of tension, an understanding that this is more than just two old foes smashing against each other because it’s what they’ve done for millions of years. That original fight, the original death, was almost perfunctory. Here, Optimus may be fighting that age old battle, he may be fighting to protect the Earth, he may be continuing the war, but on a much more basic level, he’s fighting to save a single person who’s twenty feet away. While we’d like to say we understand it, can create empathy for it, I really don’t think most of us can quite grasp the idea of leading an ancient war, or fighting to protect the entire planet. Fighting and giving it all to protect one person is something I think everyone could understand and empathize with. And thus, Sam’s drive to bring him back, to find the Matrix of Leadership and call Optimus back to put an end to the Fallen, becomes not just someone wanting to bring back the great leader, the savior of their cause… it becomes one person trying to save the person that had saved him.

Sam’s a more interesting character this time around as well, while still being the same character. It’s a good job on behalf of both the writing and Shia LeBouf’s acting that they pulled this off, that this is still the same goofy, awkward guy, but having grown two years older and had a steady girlfriend for those two years. He’s neither exactly the same nor is he wildly different for his offscreen experiences. Both Sam and Mikaela manage to seem like real people and nuanced characters, even if they’re still a bit silly and overblown like most Michael Bay influenced characters. Sam’s moment of “I don’t want to be special, I just want to be normal” carries off a lot better than many such attempts do, in part because of the subject matter. Too often, the hero is granted some magnificent powers and gifts along with their responsibilities, and they hate their superstrength, their lightning-quick reflexes, their ability to make the world’s most delicious pizza appear from nowhere as much as they do their destiny to slaughter the ancient evil. Sam hasn’t been given any powers, he’s not being offered any reward on the side, he really isn’t being given anything in return for being asked to fight in a war. Even if you don’t agree, you can still understand why he doesn’t want to be part of it.

Diverging far away from that, there’s just a lot of stupid humor in this one. Fart humor, humping humor, all that kind of stuff. This was apparently a decision not just on Bay’s part, but multiple peoples’ part, to try and “balance” the higher rev of the action and drama. It really doesn’t work, and it really wasn’t necessary, but it lasts for a second or two at a time so oh well. Roll your eyes at it and then stick them back on the screen so you don’t miss any of the good stuff.

The Twins have also been massively controversial, in a way that only the Hollywood press can blow something like that out of proportion. Their personalities seem to be largely the fault of their voice actors, and even those guys have basically said “Yeah, our bad” in reaction to the outrage. And they are annoying and goofy… they’re kind of supposed to be. Who would take Transformers that willingly chose those altmodes seriously? But again, most of the goofy points with the Twins don’t last too long, and even they get their moments in the sun… their time to be “human”, as it were, their own chance to be awesome.

Arcee, despite Bay’s misinformation campaign, does indeed live through most/all of the movie. That rather odd qualification is related to a story snarl it’s unlikely will ever be resolved, and I’ll explain it if someone reeeeeally wants me to, but be warned, it’s nerdiness most high.

The Transformers designs have been revised a little further, and though there’s still not the solid panels of bright colors that would help to distinguish them utterly from each other, I never really had any problems. The individual Autobots don’t get as much screentime or chance to diversify as they did the first time around… more robot-versus-robot fight scenes means less time for them to stand around emoting, and Sideswipe is just kind of… there. And almost none of the Decepticons get any amount of personality besides Megatron, Starscream, and the Fallen. And, well, Soundwave, but it’s canon that he doesn’t have one and we like him that way, dammit.

In conclusion, let me say this. If you go into this movie and do as you’re so often instructed when critics are forced to admit that a movie is entertaining without having an important message, “shut off your brain and enjoy the ride”, will Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen be a cool popcorn-munching summer action flick? Yeah, most likely. But here’s a wild thought. Leave your brain on. Flick the switch so that your emotions are engaged, too. You may have to think some more about the logical absurdities, but you might also discover that there’s more to the movie than explosions and robots shooting each other in the face.