I still have horrible nightmares about “The Rose McGowan Collection”. Not only did we feel the need to own all those awful movies… we watched them all. Many times. I still think we should have been declared insane for all of that. I know we weren’t alone in thinking that either.

Dude. Kiss and Tell. WORST. MOVIE. EVER. MADE.  A killer stalks the streets and must be stopped. Their weapon? An ordinary carrot, which when inserted up the ass of their victim, killed them instantly.

Yes, I’m totally serious.

Why, oh why did we subject ourselves to such suckitude? *headdesk*

... What?

... Seriously, what?

... Carrot, what?

Did Anne McCaffery help write that one? What?

Sounds like Shoot ‘Em Up, aka, 101 Uses for a Carrot. That includes several ways to kill people with them.

Seriously.  A serial killer.  Anally raped her victims.  With a carrot.  And that is what killed them.

Shoot ‘Em Up at least had the decency to let you know immediately that it was going to be the dumbest film ever made.  I think Kiss and Tell was trying to be funny, but in that hipster irony meta way that fails miserably 99.95% of the time.

Think CSI Miami meets Doom Generation meets The Bone Collector meets a bad parody of Kevin Smith dialogue.

That’s so horrifyingly awful sounding I think I might have to see it.

Shoot ‘Em Up was at least (very) silly fun right up until the ending, which was so stupid it made my head want to explode.